Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
