do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
