i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
