plz talk dirty to me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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