It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
