Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sobbing to NWA
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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