I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
