Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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