they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
