How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
