Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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