cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
