I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
