sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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