I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
