Umm I'm too high to move.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
