fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
