Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He told me they were just razor bumps!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
