dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
