p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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