I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
