the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
