College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
