There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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