I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
