I wish I could punch you in the face.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You are the jesus of drinking
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
