i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
