butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
