Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
