no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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