Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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