Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
