3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My first STD was from a foam party
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ok first of all what the fuck
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
