i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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