Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
