Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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