I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
