I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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