what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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