I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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