For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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