We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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