2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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