how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm passing your future prison.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
