Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
