google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
