You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
