You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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