i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
