butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Randomize
