I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
