Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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