well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
