Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
